Some of the greatest mistakes we make in life come from pride—believing we already know enough or seeing others’ success as competition instead of opportunity. When we view people who are further ahead as opponents, we rob ourselves of the very wisdom that could help us grow. The truth is, mentors often appear in the form of people who simply do it better or have done it longer. The humble learn; the prideful compare. Growth begins the moment we stop trying to prove ourselves and start trying to improve ourselves.

Mentorship is one of the oldest and most traditional forms of education and development. Throughout time we have seen it with the most famous philosophers like Socrates mentoring Plato, Plato mentoring Aristotle, and Aristotle mentoring Alexander the Great. We see used heavily, if not exclusively, in the Bible, and we see that it is very prevalent in hyper successful people of our time.

The dictionary gives “mentorship” a long, complex definition that makes it sound like a formal, transactional relationship. But it’s not that official. At its core, mentorship is simply creating a friendship with someone you can learn from. That’s it.

Throughout my life, I’ve realized that surrounding myself with people who are smarter, wiser, or more successful than me has exponentially improved my growth—more than any book or podcast ever could. I’ve also found that it’s surprisingly easy to find people smarter, wiser, and more successful than me throughout my life…

In my career in education, I’ve had phenomenal mentor teachers, successful coaches, experienced administrators, wise men of faith, and strong fathers who have shaped me in powerful ways. I attached myself to them talked less, listened more, and developed significantly faster because of their guidance. I avoided pitfalls and mistakes—and often looked better than I actually was—because of them.

Mentors are invaluable in the self-development process because they’re walking libraries of experience—filled with lessons from books, situations, podcasts, victories, and mistakes. True mentorship isn’t about using others for personal gain. It’s about strengthening relationships and building community in the area where you want to grow.

From first-time mothers seeking guidance from seasoned moms, to young assistant coaches learning from veteran head coaches, from first-time gym-goers to fitness gurus, or new employees learning from company veterans—there’s a mentor for everyone if you look hard enough.

The reality I’ve found in my career is that most people want to help others. Sure, there are exceptions—competitive industries or people with poor character—but that’s rare. I’ve never had someone I admired refuse to answer my questions or share their experience. Most start naturally and build quickly.

One example comes to mind: a teacher I once worked with had four phenomenal daughters—strong in faith, talented athletes, and excellent students. As a father of two daughters, I couldn’t help but ask him questions about parenting and share my struggles. It turned into a mentorship and friendship rooted in faith and fatherhood. We shared lunch duty, started a Bible study, and even though we now work in different districts, we still meet for a meal and stay in touch.

Some mentorships are by design, for example, early in my teaching career I was blessed with incredible mentors. My first assignment placed me on one of the best 8th-grade U.S. History teams imaginable. Yes, it was their job to teach me—but it was my responsibility to stay teachable. No matter where you are in life, maintaining the mindset of a student is essential. Humility is the catalyst for learning from others, and that kind of humility—paired with a true growth mindset—didn’t come naturally to me in other areas of my career. I had a problem….. pride.

There’s really only one factor that can limit or prevent a mentorship relationship: pride.

Pride is one of the most primal and destructive traits we carry. When we see someone more successful than us and want to beat them instead of learn from them, we lose.

In my first few years of coaching, I wanted to be the guy who drew up the game-winning play, get the promotion, or get the credit for the win after a big game. It didn’t take long for humility to show up when I realized the depth of knowledge and wisdom the veteran coaches around me had. I learned to shut my mouth, listen more, and take notes—and I got better. Note* I discuss this more in the book 100 Failures as a New Leader linked below

Pride vs. Humility

Pride says, “I’ll show you how good I am.”
Humility says, “Show me how to get better”

Pride builds walls; humility builds bridges.
Pride limits growth; humility fosters it.
Pride isolates; humility connects.
Pride breeds envy and resentment; humility grows admiration and friendship.

You can learn something from anyone—even if it’s what not to do.
Every person you meet has experiences that can teach you something, whether it’s wisdom to follow or mistakes to avoid. The key is staying observant and humble enough to learn from both.

“Comparison is the thief of joy.” Don’t compare; connect.
When you compare, you compete. When you connect, you grow—because true mentorship turns someone else’s success into a roadmap, not a rivalry.

The person doing better than you can be either your greatest asset or your self-made enemy. You choose.
Your mindset determines whether you see them as a threat or a teacher. Choosing humility transforms envy into inspiration.

Ask good questions.
Curiosity reveals insight that experience alone can’t give you. Don’t seek validation—seek understanding.

Value their time.
Your mentor’s time is their most limited resource. Prepare before you meet and show gratitude by coming with focus and intention.

Pay for their coffee or meal.
It’s a simple gesture that shows respect and appreciation. It reminds them that you value the relationship more than the advice.

Take notes.

Don’t rush it.
Good mentorship takes time to build trust and context. The most valuable lessons often come in small moments over time, not single conversations.

Be appreciative.
Gratitude fuels generosity. When mentors feel valued, they’re far more likely to continue pouring into you.

Have social awareness (don’t be weird about it).
Read the room, respect boundaries, and let the relationship develop naturally. Genuine mentorship grows from authenticity, not pressure.

Mentorship, or discipleship, is one of the most prevalent themes in the Bible.

Jesus mentored His twelve disciples. Paul mentored Timothy and Titus. Priscilla and Aquila mentored Apollos. Naomi mentored Ruth. Moses mentored Joshua. Samuel mentored David. Elijah mentored Elisha.

This model of intentional mentorship and discipleship seems to be the primary method God uses to teach, shape, and empower people to continue His purpose.

Each relationship had two common traits: time and intentionality—both driven by a clear purpose.

Jesus didn’t just lecture His disciples. He lived with them, ate with them, prayed with them, and served alongside them for years. The disciples asked questions constantly and sought to learn all they could from Him.

The model of the church should be built on discipling others, but unfortunately, it’s not as common as it once was. Where intentional mentorship does happen—whether inside a church or outside—it’s where the most significant growth occurs.

Every one my spiritual mentors had their own story of someone who mentored them. No matter where you are in you faith you need to seek wisdom from others. There is a mentor out there for you and all you have to do is connect and start asking questions.

In any subject, the power of a mentor is the driving force behind exponential growth. If the greatest figures in Scripture, history, and modern success stories all relied on mentorship, it’s safe to say we should too.

I’m living proof of that. I wouldn’t be where I am today without mentors. My path would have gone in a much different and negative direction.

So, I want to close this letter by thanking those who have invested their time and wisdom into me over the years:

My family, Michael Mize, Bill Thomas, Philip Gobble, Kevin Wright, David Sauer, Jason Goodson, Terri Stripling, Debbie Turner, Kindi Hutchens, Chase Thomas, Justin Cowart, Spencer Terry, Chris Grotemat, Nick Gonzalez, Bryan Hurst, Aaron Vander Schaaf, Jeff Tittle, Chris Mason, Ashley Day, Adam McMahon.

There are definitely a lot of others that I have learned from over the years and a few more names that could have easily made the list, these were just people on my mind that I have spent a ton of time with and could call right now asking for advice.

If there’s one timeless book that aligns perfectly with the idea of mentorship, it’s How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. First published in 1936, it’s still one of the most practical guides on building genuine relationships, earning trust, and leading with humility. Carnegie’s principles—listening more than you speak, showing sincere appreciation, and seeking to understand others—are the same relational skills that make great mentors and mentees thrive. It’s not a book about manipulation; it’s a manual for authentic human connection—the foundation of every great mentorship.