“Life is about choices, son.” — Dad.

This phrase was stated in our house growing up numerous times. I have three older brothers, and this conversation often stemmed from making… not-so-good choices. It was typically meant for the basic teenage decisions: choose to study and make good grades, choose to practice hard and play better, don't sneak out of the house, don't blow up mailboxes with fireworks… You know, dumb teenage actions that stemmed from bad decisions.

Later in life, this concept began to resonate much deeper and apply on more levels. Although choosing to do the right thing often leads to better outcomes, this concept can be analyzed with much deeper application. As we get older, it’s not as black and white, or as simple as good vs. bad choices. The choices become numerous, and the consequences become complex.

In our society today, we are blessed—or cursed, depending on how you look at it—with choice. There have never been more careers, clothes, foods, religions, schools, or people to choose from. So every time we choose one thing, we are not choosing almost an infinite number of other things. This is a simple definition of opportunity cost.

Also, there is rarely, if ever, a perfect solution or choice. We have to weigh the trade-offs and make the best decision based on what is most valuable at that time. We have limited resources—time, money, and energy—so when we choose to allocate those resources toward something, we are taking them away from something else. This is the trade-off in decision-making.

Most importantly, our choices have a direct effect on our emotions, focus, and quality of life. We will look at how to make choices about our emotions and reactions—especially in horrible circumstances—from a Biblical perspective at the end of the newsletter.

Life is about making choices and understanding that when you choose one thing, you are simultaneously not choosing every other option.

A simple example—yet one that pains my heart when I choose wrong—is when I order a certain dish at a restaurant. I’m also actively not choosing every other dish they serve. This is fine when you order the best thing, but when you order the fish tacos and then see the pan-seared mahi mahi that looks to die for, it hurts the soul.

Sometimes opportunity cost is measurable in return on investment, like with trading or choosing the right stocks. But other times, it’s about more complicated metrics—like fulfillment. Choosing a career, choosing a spouse, choosing a religion—these all carry complex, heavy outcomes. The catch is that you have one life and a limited amount of time to choose correctly.

Of all the metrics to use when considering opportunity cost, the most valuable is time. How are you choosing to spend your time?

Simple examples in my daily life include choosing to skip a lot of things so I can spend more time with my kids. I’ll do a quick mow in my yard so I can have more time playing with them after work or on the weekend. This one is simple: having more time with my kids is more valuable than a perfect yard.

So what about careers, spouses, colleges, and the “big stuff” in life? This is tough, and I don’t think there are simple explanations. I also think that if there were a simple formula, blueprint, or flowchart, it would decrease the value and beauty of life.

I’ve stated the problem without a real solution when it comes to opportunity cost. You really just need to understand that it’s a thing—and you need to consider what you are not choosing when you choose something. This should give you more insight into the decision-making process and help you make the best possible choice.

To help simplify choices, you should have a set of core values—a list of things you value most—and filter decisions through what fulfills those values.

I think society is often misled when it comes to fulfillment, but some people genuinely value wealth over other things, so many of their choices will be based on increasing wealth. For example, my core values are Faith, Family, Health, and Self-Development. Most of my major decisions in life come back to these four values—but mostly faith and family.

“There are no solutions, only trade-offs.”

This quote, by economist Thomas Sowell, means that in any decision or policy—especially in complex situations like economics or social issues—there isn’t a single, perfect way to resolve problems. Instead, there are different choices that involve giving up one desirable outcome to gain another.

For example, increasing funding for one area—like healthcare—might necessitate reducing investment in another, such as education, due to limited resources. In business, if you prioritize your time or your staff’s time toward one project, you are taking it away from another project or area of the business.

In line with opportunity cost is the concept that there are no perfect solutions—just trade-offs. When you focus on one area of your life, you are ignoring others.

Understanding that there are no perfect solutions is meant to decrease the pressure of making the perfect decision. This pressure used to paralyze me—I couldn’t make a decision without ending up with regret no matter what I chose.

This concept should bring peace. It should create a sort of balance board where you can see and feel the trade-offs and adjust accordingly before you actually fall off.

But once again, it is important to go back to your defined core values when understanding opportunity costs, weighing trade-offs, and making the best choice.

Note: I talk more about this from the business and leadership perspective in my book linked below, “100 Failures as a New Leader.”

The “life is about choices” concept can seem a little insulting at times because there are things in life we didn’t choose. There are horrible things that happen that we had no say in. However, we still have a choice in how we approach, deal with, and react to any circumstance.

A well-known quote from the Stoic philosopher Epictetus about choice and reaction says: “It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.”

This idea emphasizes that while external events are outside our control, our responses, attitudes, and judgments are within our control and ultimately define our experience.

If we allow ourselves to be completely subject to circumstances, then we give those circumstances the power to control our lives, our happiness, and our short time here on Earth. Another quote by a famous Stoic philosopher, Marcus Aurelius, is that “The quality of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts.”

The frustrating issue with this is that we do have control over our thoughts and what we choose to focus on… to an extent. If you have something negative going on in your life—like a family member that wronged you, vehicle issues, or even just spilling coffee on your favorite shirt—the quality of that day will decline significantly by focusing on those negative things with a negative attitude. Inversely, sometimes we desperately try not to focus on something, and the harder we try, the more we think about it.

Example: Don’t think about an elephant. Don’t think about its gray skin, big ears, or long trunk. Don’t picture it in a river spraying water on itself…. What did you just imagine in your head? I know this is a silly example, but somehow our thoughts are strangely controllable and uncontrollable at the same time.

There are certain things in life that will wreck your world. Grief is an appropriate response. Sorrow, sadness, and even anger can be natural, appropriate responses that need time to adjust and heal. A quote from a famous Stoic philosopher can feel insulting in those moments. When you can’t free yourself from those emotions—or worse, when those emotions turn into envy, hatred, jealousy, or resentment—they can rob you of the greatness of this life. When you get caught in moments of emotional frustration, like jealousy, ask yourself: “Why am I choosing this emotion?” or “Why am I focusing on this whenever there are so many other things I can focus on?”

Famous philosophers have profound thoughts on this topic—and so does the Bible. In the Christian faith, there are many verses that, at first glance, can feel almost insulting or even contradicting.

For example:

These verses are rooted in our ability to choose how we react and what we choose to focus on. The Bible tells us to “take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:5), not allowing our thoughts to wander, go negative, or steal our peace and joy.

Although the Stoics mentioned before were not Christians, they were often neutral or even positive toward Christianity—they simply had a more self-reliant view of life and relied on willpower to make the best of it. Ironically, one of the fruits of the Spirit, which is a gift from God, is self-control (Galatians 5:22–23). So our ability to control—or choose—our thoughts is both a skill and a spiritual gift.

The “elephant example” earlier shows that there are limitations on our ability to control our thoughts. The silly elephant illustration is one thing—but when it’s losing a family member or replaying the moment you were betrayed or hurt, it becomes much more difficult to manage and control your thoughts.

This is where I believe Stoicism contrasts—and even comes up short—when compared to the Bible. Scripture tells us that God actually wants us to thrive and prosper even when we are struggling, being persecuted, or facing trials. The Bible says “when” we face trials (John 16:33), not if. A common misconception is that becoming a Christian removes the trial—when in reality, it gives it purpose.

And when we truly abide in Christ, we experience “the peace of God, which transcends all understanding” (Philippians 4:7) because we are choosing to focus on God’s promises instead of the painful circumstances. Once again, peace is another fruit of the Spirit that is given to us.

In the Christian walk, we focus our thoughts on Jesus and God’s promises. The Bible doesn’t necessarily say we will understand why these things happen or what is prepared for us, but the hope and promise of God’s Word assure us that we have an eternal home in heaven that will give every trial we face purpose and one day bring understanding (Romans 8:28, 2 Corinthians 4:17–18).

Whether it’s in business, leadership, or just life itself, you will face trials and horrible circumstances—but you also have the ability to control your thoughts and what you focus on. The most freeing realization is that you are choosing your thoughts, which directly affects the quality of your life.

Know the opportunity cost. Know the trade-offs. Know that you choose your thoughts and reactions.

Choose wisely.

Philippians 4:4 — “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice.”
James 1:2–3 — “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.”
2 Corinthians 10:5 — “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”
Galatians 5:22–23 — “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.”
John 16:33 — “In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
Philippians 4:7 — “And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
Romans 8:28 — “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”
2 Corinthians 4:17–18 — “For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”

Until next time,
Cam

z0ey❤️ (my daughter Zoey, who is 4 years old, saw me working on the computer and asked if she could type her name and add a heart…. she did. So I left it in. Love you girl!)