52
A year ago I set out to create a library of the biggest lessons in life that I could leave for my kids. I told myself and my wife that I wanted to do this for one year. 52 weeks of writing an essay-style newsletter with a biblical perspective attached.
These weeks were filled with late Sunday nights, writer's block, imposter syndrome, vulnerability, highs, lows, great conversations, Bible studies, and a lot of encouragement from people I am genuinely grateful for.
This is number 52. What now?
To close this series I want to summarize what I learned in this process and what I hope my kids one day take away from it. There is a next chapter I will explain at the end.
This was really hard. Writing was my biggest academic weakness going back to elementary school. But I am so glad I attacked it. That weakness and the insecurity that came with it no longer weigh on me the way they once did.
My life has been plagued with fear: fear of failure, fear of social judgment, fear of vulnerability. Doing this, telling people I was going to do it, and posting publicly that I had committed to it was the hardest part. I remember sitting with my finger over the share button on that announcement post, going back and forth on whether I was actually going to do it. This journey made me realize and confirm something I now believe deeply: courage does not mean not feeling fear. It means not letting fear make your decisions for you. It means doing it scared. By definition, the greater the fear, the greater the courage when you act despite it.
It was relentlessly difficult. I distinctly remember finishing my second newsletter and feeling completely empty of ideas. I was convinced there was no way I could produce anything worthwhile again. What that taught me is that we are often one of the greatest limiting factors in our own lives. Doubt can kill ambition long before failure ever gets the chance.
Discipline is required for hard things. Things that matter. Motivation has an expiration date in any endeavor. Discipline does not. Discipline opens doors you never knew existed. It is almost like climbing a mountain to gain a perspective you could never have without taking every single step. This journey opened doors for me that I truly did not know were there.
Seeking wisdom, real wisdom, has been the only endeavor outside of seeking God that has genuinely changed my life. Learning the Word, seeking mentors, and challenging myself to find lessons in the hardest moments has brought life to my world. I went from passively experiencing life to consuming and creating things that matter. It has traded a world full of distraction for a world of meaning and purpose.
God showed me so much in this process, but it can probably be summarized in two verses. James 4:8: "Draw close to God and he will draw close to you." And Jeremiah 17:9: "The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?"
In this journey I almost quit the biblical perspective more than once. I felt unqualified, like an imposter, unworthy of writing about things I was still learning. But that feeling was my heart talking, not God. And that is precisely why the heart cannot always be trusted. Recognizing that pushed me to dig deeper into the Word, pray more, and draw closer to God. And he responded. There has been fruit produced in this process that I cannot attribute to anything other than him. The heart runs on motivation, which rises and falls. But discipline is a renewed mind that makes the decision regardless of how it feels. No matter what, the newsletter went out at 6am every Monday for 52 weeks, and I talked about Jesus.
I want to close this series with a short letter to my daughters, and then share where things go from here.
Zoey, Wrenley, and Anderson,
Do not ever let anyone limit what you can or cannot do, not even yourself. Set goals that scare you and be strong and courageous. Life is too short to live in fear and tolerate regret. Anything worthwhile will be really difficult. The right thing to do is often not the easy thing to do. Fail. Fail often. Fail greatly. It means you are trying. It means you are not settling. It means you are pushing yourself. Do not listen to the spirit of fear because it is not of God.
Most importantly, seek God and follow Jesus. He is the way, the truth, and the light. The world will sell you lies that sound great and twist the truth trying to destroy you. The real enemy only wants to steal, kill, and destroy, and he will do it however he can.
Just as I am so proud of who you are and nothing could ever separate my love from you, know that God's love for you is immeasurable compared to mine. My arms will always be open for you, just like his. Although I am imperfect and I fail, know that he is perfect and will never fail you. Heaven is real. Hell is real. God is real. Jesus was a real man, the real Son of God, who died on a real cross for me and for you and rose again three days later.
As much as I love being your Dad and it brings me a joy you cannot fathom, I pray that one day I will have you as sisters in Christ. I do not know what this world will bring, but I know the God who designed it and is in control of it. I know that a life of hardship and suffering for him is infinitely more fulfilling and valuable than a pleasant life without him. In him you will have a peace no one can comprehend, and you will live full of joy, love, and purpose.
Seek God at all costs and live fearlessly in his pursuit. Rest in his mercy and grace. Live in reverent awe of his greatness. Enjoy his presence and delight in his will. Learn about him. Tell others about him. And love your God with everything you are.
I love you more than you will ever know.
Dad
I struggled with whether to include that letter here, but this endeavor was truly for them, and I hope you will forgive the personal moment. I may also be shedding a few tears as I write this.
The side benefit of this endeavor was to bring a few others along on the journey. So what comes next?
This format of newsletter is coming to an end. Starting next Monday you will receive something in your inbox from me through a new platform called Substack. It has a few more capabilities and a cleaner experience, and it also has its own app. I will be moving to a shorter writing style for the weekly format, though I am still pushing longer-form writing and hoping to release my next book in the summer of 2027.
I am also pushing myself into video, with both long and short-form content and podcasts.
So thank you to everyone who subscribed here. 75,000 words. 52 newsletters. Hours of Bible studies, research, and writing. Thank you to those who encouraged me, gave me feedback, and stayed around this long. I look forward to the new format and hearing what you think.
Until next time,
Cam
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