You can't trust your thoughts. It’s a strange concept, but it holds true. A lot, if not all, of our suffering comes from our thoughts. We suffer over scenarios we’ve played out in our heads, stories we’ve created about ourselves, or lies we’ve convinced ourselves to believe. Our actions, however, are different. They don’t lie. They’re real events that happened in real time, in real places. They tell the truth.

There’s a balance and a spectrum between thoughts and actions. If you view yourself solely through your thoughts, say you believe you’re a generous person but never actually do anything for anyone….. then you’re living in hypocrisy or delusion. If you think poorly of yourself despite continually serving and loving others, you’re creating a narrative that will never allow you to feel joy, peace, or fulfillment.

If you constantly fear imagined outcomes more than the amount of time they’ve ever actually happened, you will always live in anxiety. Take dating as an example: if you fear asking someone out because rejection feels like the end of the world… how many times has the world actually ended because someone said no?

This concept is much easier said than done. Personally, my struggle is negativity toward myself. I used to be a pretty anxious person. It’s easy for me to think negatively—literally saying, “I suck, I don’t deserve this, I shouldn’t be writing this, I’m not good enough.” One of the only ways I’ve learned to fight this is by resting in action—not in a prideful “beat my chest” way, but in a way that offers peace because my actions prove otherwise.

When we allow our actions to have more influence than our thoughts, we create a narrative rooted in reality. If someone thinks they’re a good friend, but they audit their text messages and realize they never initiate conversations, rarely listen, only reach out when they need something—then that’s a reality check. But that realization should transform their actions moving forward.

The same is true in parenting. Many parents constantly feel like they’re failing. Yet if you’re intentional with conversations, you put your phone away to really listen, you provide opportunities, you discipline with love and structure, then beating yourself up isn’t truth; it’s a cycle that steals your joy. Also… parenting is just hard. No one actually knows what they’re doing.

So the key here is to audit your thoughts and your actions—and then create a mindset that rests in actions. Sometimes our actions need to rise to match our ideal thoughts. And sometimes our thoughts need to rest in evidence of the actions we’ve already taken.

This next section may feel like it contradicts everything above—at first.

In faith, we rest on the actions of Jesus, not our own. His life, death, and resurrection give us peace, hope, and joy. Scripture is clear that we are saved by grace through faith, not by works (Ephesians 2:8–9). Yet, there is still a relationship between thoughts, actions, and faith.

Our actions do not save us. But they do serve as evidence that we’ve encountered Jesus and placed our faith in Him. James tells us plainly that “faith without works is dead” (James 2:17). This passage isn’t arguing that salvation is a balance of grace + works…. it’s saying that real faith naturally produces real fruit.

Joby Martin describes this in Run Over by the Grace Train: when someone truly encounters the grace and hope of Jesus, their life becomes so transformed that outward actions inevitably follow.

We should see the fruit of the Spirit in our lives—love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22–23). All of these begin inwardly but manifest outwardly. Evidence of gentleness or patience shows up through actions. Evidence of love or self-control is seen in what we do.

If we find ourselves frustrated or restless, we must again audit thoughts versus actions:

If so, we can rest in obedience and trust God with the outcome. If not, it’s no wonder we experience unrest, disorder, or a sense of being spiritually “off.”

When we obey God’s Word and allow the Spirit to work, fruit naturally grows. I often mention Galatians 5:22-23, but another verse that fits this idea is “Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you” (James 4:8). This verse amazes me. The God of the universe responds to our action. He draws near to us because we chose to draw near to him. He doesn’t force Himself on us that wouldn’t be love, He invites us, and when we step toward Him, He steps toward us. That’s incredible.

So yes, our actions matter. Our thoughts matter. Scripture speaks clearly to both:

The Bible tells us to take good, godly action and avoid sin—not to satisfy some invisible Judge but because the Creator of the universe wants us to live meaningful, fulfilling lives marked by love, peace, and joy.

We can’t do this alone—we will fall short. But when we place our faith in Jesus, the Spirit begins to work in us and produce fruit we could never create on our own.